I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
