she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
