of course. lets lasso hookers.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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