im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
