we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
