I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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