you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
