just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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