I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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