sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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