He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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