billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
