my room smells like sperm. sweet.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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