Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
