Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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