around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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