is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
