check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
well you can't waste a boner
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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