Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
