Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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