i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
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Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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