my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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