real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
