Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
