gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
