Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
