All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
