So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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