no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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