so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
