hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
another moral hangover. fuck.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
