he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
