His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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