a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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