I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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