First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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