Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
