I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
