Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
