We're facebook friends in real life
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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