somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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