If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
