my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
