I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
