I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
