I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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