Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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