my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She bit a glass in half.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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