...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
