My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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