Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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