I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
