I looked at my own cervix.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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