Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
