that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
