Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
