If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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