So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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