Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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