am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm like, not good at living.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
