next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize