i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
