I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
bring money and cleavage
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
