dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
did i walk over a car last night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
