Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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